


And when I'm scared I imagine you there telling me to be brave

by Macaron



Category: Call Me By Your Name (2017) RPF
Genre: And Sharing memories I guess, Childhood Memories, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Sharing Clothes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-23
Updated: 2018-02-23
Packaged: 2019-03-23 02:49:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,915
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13778079
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Macaron/pseuds/Macaron
Summary: "I’ve spent so much time with Timmy I go back and think of memories from childhood Timothee is also there” Armie Hammer





	And when I'm scared I imagine you there telling me to be brave

“Let me try to fix it.”

“I’ve already tried a thousand times!”

“But you are not me,  you are a theater kid, I fix things at home all the time.”

“Elizabeth says that you call a guy to fix-“ Timothée replies.

“And I have a bull. I can even ride a bull! Do you think that I can not fix the air conditioning of your seat?” Armie could go on with this nonsense forever so Timmy moves and lets him try to adjust the air conditioning vent.

“Ok it’s broken.”

“I’ve already told you!”

Armie sighs. “Why don't you ask to the hostess to fix it?"

"Because it's embarrassing, maybe she'll think that I broke it myself." He fumble looking for an excuse.

"Dude this doesn't have any sense."

"Why don't just ask her to give you another seat?"

Because you are sitting here. Because we are seated together and this plane is one of the few times when we are only us. No crew, no Elizabeth, no Luca, just us. And I don't want that a fucking air conditioning vent ruins everything.  “I do not want to look like the usual spoiled actor, man. She is kinda hot.”

“She isn’t hot like me.”

She isn’t indeed.

 

A few minutes passes and Timothée can't hold back a shiver.

“Oh for the fucks sake you are freezing!”

“It’s not my fault, this shirt is designed to be stylish not to keep you warm.”

“But I am.” Armie takes off his hoodie. “There, keep my hoodie.  We can not let the youngest Oscar nominee of the last eighty years catch a cold during the promotional tour, right? "

“Thanks.” It’s soft and it’s smells like Armie and Timothée wonders if this warmth, this feeling of being home was what Elio felt when he wore Billowy. Timothée wonders if he will be allowed to keep it too at the end of the tour, like a relic, like the memory of a parallel life that they haven’t experienced.

 

"How is possible you never  feel cold anyway? Even in Crema I was wearing two pairs of trousers and you went around with your short shorts like you were on the beach drinking a mojito.”

“It's a thing I developed when I was a kid, I guess. My mother was always so annoying about the air conditioner.” Armie does what Timmy believes is the impression of  Dru Hammer “. You can't turn on the air if you have left the windows open before. We are rich,  but we still give a value to the money and you can't waste them just because you are too lazy to remember to close the windows.”  And again “Of course I was lazy, you should know, I was just a kid but man it was so hot there.  And of course I couldn’t go around just with my bath suit because we weren’t  that kind of people, we had a name. Long story short now I like to feel the cold, of course not to freeze to death but I can stand this.”

Timmy doesn’t know what to say as always when Armie talks about his family. The rule is that you do not say anything when someone insults his own parents, you can not interfere, you are not their son and you can not say anything but at the same time he would like to go back and open all the windows of all the houses of the world just to make Dru Hammer mad. Timmy doesn’t know what to say, so he doesn’t say anything.

“Do you remember that day that was so hot and I couldn’t turn on the air conditioning because the morning before, the morning !, I had forgotten the open windows and my mother hoped to teach me something with this punishment ? The day when  we waited the first hint of  summer storm  to go out in the garden and run in the rain? And then we came home soaked, just to make my mother mad, just because she had not let me stay in a bathing suit all day. We almost caught pneumonia.”

“Armie I wasn’t there. Probably I wasn’t even been born. “

“Oh right, I were with some other kids. We have spent so much time together that sometimes I get confused.”

 

They stay silent for a while.

“Feeling better ?” He points to the hoodie.

“Better.”

“You know it wasn’t so hot there. It was just summer and we could use the air conditioner most of the time.”

“I know.”

“Of course you know.” And this is so Oliver and Elio that Timothée want to stop the time and live in this moment forever. Or press on the accelerator and go away from this movie, these feelings, this man.

He can’t do any of these things but there is something that he can do.

“Can we watch Cool hand Luke?”

“Do you haven't seen it already?”

“Yeah but the other time I didn’t pay attention enough with you that you were whispering in my ears about how good the movie was.”

“Am I so much a distraction for you?” And it almost seems that he is flirting.

“Annoying, the world you are searching is annoying.”

“Annoying? Me? If I’m so annoying  I'm gonna take my hoodie back!”

They pretend to fight for the hoodie for a few moments. Timothée thinks it's just an excuse to touch like when they were in Crema, like when they have to pose for some photo shoot and leans against Armie's shoulder for longer than necessary.

“Never. It’s mine forever.”

“It’s yours forever.”

Now.

Now someone braver would say something, someone braver would do something. Elio would do something but Timmy has so much to lose, so much that he can’t lose because it means almost everything.  Elio has done something on the Monet's Bern because he was sure that he hasn't anything to lose, not anymore but Timmy has a hoodie with Armie's scent an someone that doesn't want him to catch a cold and this is something. This man that is so fun and talented and who is not ashamed to argue on the internet with strangers to defend their film but who is ashamed to send back a raw steak because he misread a menu in a language he does not know. This man who always says that Timmy is part of his family, like a brother but after a while that have all been together turns to Timmy and tells him "Help me to grill the meat" even if he does not need help or "I need someone to watch a movie that is not Disney!" just to stay the two of them alone. He can not just put a hand on his testicles and hope that all their sexual frustration (and all the likes that Armie puts on instagram non-stop) solves  everything.

This, what they have is more than something and they know it.

 

“Let’s watch the movie, Timmy.”

 

 

“This? Was this the big big problem for which you urgently needed my help?” Timmy indicates the dessert’s tray that rests on the bed next to Armie, boxer and a shirt that seems to have more years of the two of them  together.

“I  haven’t written urgently.”

“You fucking did it. You wrote urgently and I thought it was really urgent. I was in the shower, you know? This is the reason my hair are wet, it's not a new choice of style. My hair are wet because someone wrote urgently and I came here immediately after the shower to see a stupid desserts tray.”

"What were you doing in the shower? Were you still thinking about that hostess?”

“I was showering.”

“Were you  thinking about someone else?” They say things like this all the time. It's just jokes and Timmy asks himself when they will not be anymore.  If one day they will no longer be just jokes.

"I wasn't thinking about cakes for sure. What's the problem with them?" He throws himself on the bed near Armie.

"The problem my Little Timmy Tim is that my wife bought all these desserts from Pierre Hermè to study some new recipe for Bird and then she abandoned them in our room to go to taste others from Aki and I can not face them all by myself. “

"Can not you just avoid eating them?"

"And to let some cakes win against me?"

“It’s not a competiti-“ He starts to say but then changes his mind, he knows Armie too well. "So what do we have here?"

"This is The Cake Ispahan. “ Armie reads aloud “A delicious encounter between rose-flavoured almond cake and bursts of raspberry and litchi. Enjoy it with a cup of Ispahan tea for a delightfully aromatic teatime treat. I don't even know what this means, when you buy a steak they say that it is a steak, not all of this."

“Chic.”

“Mh. This seems better: Victoria. Coconut dacquoise biscuit and mousseline cream, pineapple seasonned with lime zest and coriander. “

“I like pineapple.”

“You like pineapple as pizza topping.” Armie replies.

“Because it’s awesome.”

“Nobody likes coriander, just Jamie Oliver. It tastes like bedbugs.”

“When did you… No I don’t really want to know.”

 

 They taste the cake. If this were a film, probably Armie would feed him with the sweet he but they are not characters in a movie, this wouldn’t really work for them. It wouldn’t be erotic, it would be ridiculous. Timmy would still give the thing a chance. They eat the cake.

“It’s good man.”

“Good? It’s perfect!  It tastes like home.” Armie's eyes when he talks about food are shinning.

“Like L.A.?”

“Cayman. But in a good way.  This dessert has its true coconut flavor. Not the fake one. It seems they just opened a fresh coconut and concentrated it in the cake. I could get a coconut in five minutes to ten years, do you remember? The first few times I kept falling when I climbed but then I became really fast, do you remember?”

Timmy is still eating and his fork almost fall. “I wasn’t there, Armie.”

“Hu?”

“I wasn’t with you at Cayman, when you were a kid.”

“Yeah, right. “

 

They remain silent for a few seconds.

“And then you said I was.”

“It's like I said in that interview yesterday, we spent so much time together that I can’t imagine a moment in my life when you were not there. It's like my soul puts you in my memories.” He doesn’t say mind, he says soul and Timmy tries not to see anything more than a wrong word in that sentence.

“Like parallel lives?”

“No it’s the opposite. As if my life was more complete that way.”

 

And so it is. No movies, no books, just them.

“It tastes really like home.” Timmy smiles openly.

“Yeah.” Armie smiles back.

Timmy curls on the bed closest to Armie. His head is resting on Armie's shoulder, Armie’s arm on his shoulder  and everything is light and warm.

 I'm in love with you, Timmy thinks. We should kiss. We definitely should kiss, he thinks. And then: we have time. And this time it's true. The promo tour is ending, the Oscar night is near but we have time. We haven't lived parallel lives, you are here with me and you will be again. We have time.

Armie squeezes him harder.

“Armie? Tell me about what we did together in your childhood.”

**Author's Note:**

> That sentence of Armie during the interview was stuck in my brain and I had to write something down. First (last?) RFP of my life.  
> Hermé really makes a cake with coconut, I would have refused to let the boys eat a Laduree cake. Team Pierre. The Ispahan cake, on the other hand, is like the best cake in the world.  
> As always, English is not my first language and I write it as Oliver speaks Italian.  
> The title is from "Brave for you" by XX.


End file.
